Fruitfulness and the Perennial Pentecost

From the pulpit, a good and holy priest once spoke of the difference between fruitfulness and productivity. “It is fruitfulness,” he said, “that God asks of us, not productivity.” The statement was baffling. Couldn’t the two terms could be used to mean the same thing? Certainly they are interchangeable. Eventually however, after much interior confrontation and justification, the vast difference between the actual meanings of both words became evident.

Accepting those differences did not make it any easier to accept the priest’s statement. Searching the Scriptures only made it harder to dispute his words. In both Old and New Testaments we are urged to be fruitful, to bear fruit. It doesn’t say a word about being productive. Yes, the people we read about in Scripture did many good things; they tended sheep, made journeys and took chances. Some even led armies and kingdoms. But none of the things they did take center stage when it comes to their significance in the history of our salvation; their earthly accomplishments appear only as incidentals, back-drops at best.

Productivity, in our world, refers to our temporal accomplishments; it has a beginning and an end. Even if its carried on for generations, productivity, as we understand it today, eventually ends where it begins – here on earth.

Fruitfulness, however, as it is used in Scripture, speaks of an eternal process of the “new” which moves forward, changes course, corrects its own weaknesses, and continues – even if unnoticed – centuries later. It does not end here on earth. Fruitfulness is the one activity of life which jumps the great divide and lives on in the Spirit, bridging the gap between life and death.

Productivity is comforting – an immediate reward in compensation for exhaustion and for the lack of personal time for relationships and altruistic endeavors. It promises security. It feels good to look back over the day and enumerate accomplishments. It is the basis for hiring and firing. Productivity is the number one ice breaker at dinner parties and other social gatherings. “So, what do you do?” Our pre-recorded automatic responses glide importantly from our lips and, for good measure, we throw in brief summaries of planned future productivity.

Fruitfulness is something altogether different. The process is not always comforting. In fact, when its meaning is broken down it is not very appealing (no pun intended). It carries no tangible assurances, or promises which are immediately recognizable. It requires waiting, and waiting… It carries with it the stigma of the appearance of inertia even though it takes great effort. It appears counter-productive and definitely counter-cultural. I can’t brag about it at dinner parties.

There’s not much going on with a piece of fruit. In fact, the word vegetative springs to mind with all its negative social implications. I can go outside, pull up a chair and sit, and carefully watch a piece of fruit all day, all week, all month and not see a thing. It just sort of hangs around attached to a tree limb. It doesn’t protect itself from weather, birds or insects. It hangs on…until, of course, I pick it off the tree and eat it or, if it falls off, it just lays on the ground, immobile once again – to be consumed ever further by birds and insects. Either way, the core decomposes and the seeds that aren’t eaten get covered up with dirt and leaves. Okay. Graduation complete – Fruit 101.

Here’ s what I learned:

1. A piece of fruit is not its own – not from the beginning of its existence and not at the end.
2. It lives by staying attached to its life source.
3. Fruit is immobile – except, of course, when outside forces intersect with it.
4. Fruit is completely vulnerable; it has no defense mechanisms.
5. Fruit has a short life-expectancy.
6. The sole purpose of fruit’s existence is to be fully consumed – both inside and out.
7. Fruit is not capable of contributing to its purpose. That depends on its life source and the hunger and attentiveness of the people and creatures around it.
8. Fruit surrounds and protects its seeds, carrying them deep within its flesh. (Vegetables, in scientific descriptions explaining the difference between fruit and vegetables, do not.) The Bible doesn’t’ say, “Be vegetative.”
9. To reach its full purpose, fruit must be first of all consumed, and the seeds it bore must fall to the ground, dry up and be covered over with earth.
10. Its seeds are not recognizable as fruit.
11. The fruit which bore the seeds is forgotten.
12. Finally, the seeds, when covered over, are forgotten as well.
13. From what appears to be dried up and dead, from that which is covered over, unnoticed and forgotten, comes life – a completely new tree.
14. The new tree is not recognizable as the continuation of the one, specific piece of fruit from which it grew.
15. But it is.

So what was that priest trying to say? What was God saying when He told Adam and Noah, Abraham and Jacob and Moses, Jeremiah and Ezekiel that He would make them fruitful? What was Jesus saying when He told His followers to bear fruit?

Is this process called ‘fruitfulness’ what God expects of me?

The answer did not come easily. It required destruction, vulnerability and an uncomfortable trust. It required letting go and exposing once carefully protected assumptions and parts of my identity. It involved death on many levels. The answer was yes.

Today we celebrate Pentecost, the Birthday of the Church. We celebrate the Promise of the Father, which comes to us from the short but fruitful life of Jesus, from His willingness to be vulnerable to outside forces, His refusal to defend or protect Himself, His trust in the Father… and His death.

The Feast of Pentecost honors the moment in our salvation history when the Holy Spirit came upon the Apostles – over-took them in a way – as they were hiding, afraid to move or to do anything to call attention to themselves, for fear of death. There, as they huddled together, alone and uncertain, covered over like so many dried up seeds, He came to them – right where they were.

Scripture tells us that they became “filled with the Holy Spirit” – with new life. And suddenly they were able to speak in such a way that everyone, no matter their language, understood them perfectly! The Scriptures for the Feast of Pentecost tell us that the people who heard the apostles were “confused” and “astounded.” They marveled, “How does each of us hear them in our native language?”

This phenomenon, this miracle, which took place over two thousand years ago – the fruitfulness of the Word of God made flesh – is not over.

Every time we hear the Scriptures and “something new” becomes immediately apparent to us, we are hearing that Word in our own heart-language. The man sitting next to us in the pew hears something else. Every time we hear a sermon and feel challenged, confused, or even defensive, we are experiencing Pentecost, hearing in our own language what the Holy Spirit enables us to hear. We taste the fruit of the life which springs, ever new, from the Word of God. We experience the Holy Spirit and the gifts of wisdom, knowledge and understanding that He brings with Him.

We become part of the perennial miracle of Pentecost.

Happy Feast Day!

Broken Hearts

The Ascension ~ Feast of Broken Hearts

“It is better for you that I go.”

I recently heard a lecture by a world renown playwright.  A good man –  deep and insightful, brilliant but gentle.  He spoke not as an authority, but as a compassionate observer of life.  One of the very last things he said was that, over the years, it became evident to him that whenever anyone follows his heart, hearts will be broken.

When I hear these words, I immediately think of a mother and father watching their son or daughter leave home for the first time, or of a father dancing with his daughter at her wedding; I think of the selfless acts of valor by military, law enforcement and emergency response men and women – even of patients who choose to forgo treatment.  I can never forget the look on the face of Pope John Paull II when, after a visit to his beloved homeland, Poland, he mounted the steps to the airplane to return to Rome.  His heart was breaking. And I think of the times when my six siblings and I hug and cry at the end of a few-and-far-between reunion.

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Ascension of Jesus – such an astonishing and glorious event.  Scripture tells us that the Risen Jesus had been coming to be with His disciples over the last forty days, speaking to them continually about the kingdom of God.  Earlier, He had tried to prepare them, telling them that where He was going they could not follow.  He told them not to leave Jerusalem even though the atmosphere was hostile and dangerous.  They were to wait for the promise of the Father, for the power they would receive once the Holy Spirit came to them.  They would be baptized in the Holy Spirit, He said, and would be His witnesses to the ends of the earth.

When He was taken up to heaven before their eyes, two angels came to tell the apostles that Jesus would return in the very same way they saw Him depart. And Scripture tells us they “returned to Jerusalem with great joy.”

But we know that this joy did not last long, for in a little while we find them huddled together  in an upper room with doors locked, hiding in fear from their oppressors.  They were alone.  The Lord – the Love of their lives – had gone away and their hope of seeing Him again any time soon was fading.  They were suffering.

Jesus knew this.  It was not easy for Him to leave them. Though His Heart was one with His Father, and though it was this Heart – and only this Heart – that He always followed, still His own heart broke as He bid them, and us, goodbye.

He knew that His absence would cause us to feel alone and afraid, even abandoned, and, at times, heart-broken – not unlike the soldier who lays down his life for his country knowing his loved ones may not understand, or the patient who chooses to stop treatment knowing that his family will mourn.  For even as parent’s hearts break when the child heads off into the world, so does the heart of the child break in the leaving.

So on this glorious day of the Ascension of the Lord, as we “wait for the Promise of the Father,” let us honor the broken hearted – the suffering Heart of Father, the Pierced Heart of His Son and all the hearts in the world that break.

Happy Feast Day!

RISEN

 

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 A Time to Comfort

Theologians tell us that all time is present with God, who is eternal.  That means He always was and always will be.  The past, present and future are one with him.  Hard to wrap our heads around that. But unless we do, it’s hard to understand the meaning and purpose of Lent.

From Scripture, we know that God had us in mind, present to Him, before He ever created the world.  “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him” (Ephesians 1:4). And in the book of Revelation, we learn that angels stand before the throne of God offering to Him the prayers of His people. When we pray, therefore, we enter into the all-present eternity of God.

In the light of this understanding, Lent becomes the time when, through our self-offering, prayers and sacrifices, we can be with Jesus in His greatest suffering – just as He is with us – comforting Him, thanking Him and letting Him know that we have not forgotten the greatest act of Mercy known to man.

From the 26^th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel, we know that, because the time of His passion was near, Jesus suffered so greatly in the Garden of Gethsemane that He fell to the ground and, some say,  His sweat became like drops of blood.

What was it that gave Him the strength He needed to rise and say to His Father, “Not my will, but Yours be done”?  Was it the prayers of His people, offered by the angels to God, to whom all time is present?  And was it our prayers, our sacrifices and our offerings, which, like the angel in the picture above, wrapped itself around the shoulders of Christ and comforted Him?

This is what Lent is all about; entering into Gethsemane – entering in to the eternal – and making a difference.

You Promised!

2016

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.How many times have we heard the words “You promised” ?

How many times have we said them?

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The following prayer,
based on the first chapter of the Gospel of Luke,
is a special prayer for this time
in the history of the world 

when everyone is worried about peace and safety
and freedom.

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It is the perfect Christmas prayer
and it is the perfect prayer
to say every day during this very special

Year of Mercy.
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In fact, over the centuries, priests and religious
have been saying a more formal version of it
every single day……..They still do.
Let’s join in.
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YOU PROMISED

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“Blessed are you, Lord God!
You have come to us and set us free!
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You have raised up for us a mighty Savior!
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Through Your holy prophets
You promised us long ago
that You would save us from our enemies,
from the hands of those who hate us.
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You promised to show mercy to us
and to remember Your promises.
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This was the oath you swore to us – to set us free
from our enemies ~
Free to worship you without fear,
Free to be good and righteous in Your sight.
all the days of our lives.
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You, my child, shall be called My prophet!
You are to go before me
to prepare my way
to give others an example of my Mercy
through forgiveness.
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We believe in Your Mercy, O God,
and that it will be given to us
and that it will light our way through darkness and fear
and that it will guide us to peace!
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…………………………………..

May your Christmas be bright and happy
And may this new Year of Mercy
be filled with good things ~
even miracles!
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“Glory to God! Honor to Mary!”

A good and holy priest who came to America from Nigeria would frequently end his homilies and spontaneous prayers with the joyful exclamation, “Glory to God!  Honor to Mary!”

Today, December 8th, 2015, when we find the historic convergence of three most significant events – The Immaculate Conception, the opening day of the Year of Mercy, both taking place within the powerful season of Advent – this exclamation seems particularly fitting.

At a time when darkness often overtakes headlines, and revenge and retaliation comprise the first response to injury, the world is asked to focus on the humble beginnings of a young girl and the unfathomable power of God. Opposites attract – the convergence of Justice and Mercy.

In the days of Plato and Aristotle, justice was recognized as the power enabling the soul to become more concerned with the “we” than with the “I.” In our day, this understanding has become disfigured.

But perhaps  we can begin to turn it back around. Perhaps, during this season of Advent within this Year of Mercy, remembering that the sweeping redemption of all mankind by God was made possible through the humility of a seemingly insignificant soul, we can find the courage to become little.

The following are the words of those who have prayed for this day to come.

In the womb of Mary,
the Son of God  took the way of the child
into the world.
Childhood is the first state of human life
that God the Son made His own.

Suma Theologica, Thomas Aquinas

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To recall our former helplessness with thankfulness
is the first step toward the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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Only in the mystery of the word made flesh
is the mystery of man made clear.
Documents of Vatican II

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God became a baby to make the world, aged through sin,
young again in grace.

 The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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Poverty, like childhood, is sacred
because the Son of God made it His own,
consecrated together in the womb at Nazareth
and the manger at Bethlehem.
Le Chretien, Bernanos

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The Maji found the child Jesus with Mary, His mother

and so do we.
It is not human childhood in isolation
that is exalted by the Incarnation of the Son of God,
but childhood and motherhood together.
The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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Most of what is deepest in man
is brought back to life through the Incarnation.
Human self-understanding takes place through Jesus’ teaching
about the indispensability of the truly child-like attitude
if we are to share in the Kingdom of God.

Skizzen zur Theologie, Balthasar

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Only in the light of God-made-child
can human beings fully understand
and finally recover their childhood.
The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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The spirit of childhood is going to judge the world.
The Way of the Lamb,  John Sayward

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A type of Mary is the burning bush,
a fire which blazes but does not consume.
The Admirable Heart of Mary, St. John Eudes

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Through the eternal son, who became a human child,
we can all become children once again and forever
– adopted sons of His Father.”
The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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Christian hope is the principle of spiritual rejuvenation.
While all things in the world sink down
toward the entropy of death,
hope is the only thing that swims against the stream
and moves upward.
Skizzen zur Theologie, Balthasar

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The blessing brought by the Babe of Bethlehem,
the fruit of Christmas, Easter and Pentecost,
is the gift of a new childhood”
The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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The Word, who found a dwelling in Mary’s womb,
comes to knock on the heart of every person
with singular intensity this Christmas.”
Saint John Paul II
.
..

God became man
to enable man to become sons of God
C.S. Lewis

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The youngness of holiness in unconquerable by the oldness of sin.
The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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Because of Him – the God with a human face –
we can root our lives in the knowledge of God’s love
and His promise of redemption.
Spe Salvi, Pope Emeritus, Benedict XVI

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Those who love Mary as a Mother
become more childlike in their approach to Jesus
and the Father.”
The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

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To those that receive Him Jesus says,
‘You shall not change me into your own substance.
Instead you shall be changed into me.’
Confessions, SaintAugustine

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I am with you always, until the end of the age.
Matthew 28:20

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The Christian faith is not simply about what will be,
but about what is.
It gives us something, even now, of the reality we are waiting for.”

Spe Salvi, Pope Emeritus, Benedict XVI

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Children need a mother.
When the Father’s mighty Word leapt from Heaven to silent earth, (Wisdom 18) He placed Himself in dependency on a mother.
The Way of the Lamb, John Sayward

.

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The simple shepherds heard the voice of an angel
and found their Lamb;
the wise men saw the light of a star
and found their wisdom.
Blessed Fulton J. Sheen
.
.

For when peaceful still encompassed everything
and the night, in its swift course, was half-spent
your all powerful word from Heaven’s royal throne
leapt into the doomed land.
Wisdom 18:14
.
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It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you.
Mother Therese

 

Once Upon a Time in Damascus

A Damascus Conversion

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The following story is true.  I was present for it and a part of it.

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With so much information coming out of the Middle East lately regarding the tragedy of terror and its consequences, I think the following account could be helpful.  That is, it can place something in our hands which we can do now, from our homes, wherever we are, and it will make a difference.

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Not long ago, in a community of consecrated religious sisters, brothers and priests,  there was an older sister who, at almost every Mass, prayed aloud during the prayers of petition that the Lord would bless and take care of all terrorists.

At first her prayer was received by the others with some discomfort, but soon other members of the community would include similar prayers for terrorists at Mass from time to time. This continued, without any question, comment or discussion, for a few years.

This particular community lived a hermetic lifestyle which limited their exposure to the outside world, including updates on news or current events via television or radio. They were confident that if a situation in the world required prayers, they would be notified either by visitors, or by mail, or by the movement of the Holy Spirit, during their prayer time.

One day, one of the younger sisters who often drove older members of the community to their medical appointments, was watching a news report while in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. One report caught her particular attention.

Later that evening, when the community joined together for the evening meal, she waited eagerly for the time when the superior of the community would ask if any member had anything to share with the others. Sure enough, once the superior was sure that most of the eating was over, the request came. The young sister stood up.

“Today,” she said, smiling, “I was watching a news report in the waiting room of the doctor’s office.”

She continued smiling as she looked around the room. All eyes were riveted on her.

“The news reporter seemed as surprised to be reporting it as I was to be hearing it!” She giggled when she said this and the community giggled back with eager anticipation.

“It seems that several leaders of a middle-eastern terrorist group have recently left the group…” she paused again, and took a breath.

“I saw them on the TV. They looked like they were coming out of a dark tunnel. They were sort of squinting into the light, and a group of people were welcoming them…”

Another pause. The young sister looked around the room, meeting as many eyes as she could.

“They have asked to become Christian!”

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……………………..

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I am asking once again for prayers FOR terrorists, not just about them.  In fact, I am begging for this. Offer your prayers, your Rosaries, your Masses, your time in front the of Blessed Sacrament, your aches, your pains, your spiritual struggles, your physical struggles and any thing else you can think of FOR these terrorists.

Remember, evil can ONLY be destroyed by love.  Violence can contain it for a while, drive it back, win a few battles, but only love can completely destroy it. Christ taught us that.

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I ask us all to set aside our egos, our desire to retaliate, and even to push past our natural tendencies toward repulsion, and ask God to bless these terrorists, to grant them His peace deep in their hearts, and, above all to grant them His perfect love which casts out the fear that is driving them to do these terrible things.

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Remember, many of them think they are doing God’s will.  So did Saul when he persecuted Christians before his conversion on the road to Damascus.  Please pray for a Damascus conversion for these people.

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God bless you.  Thanks so much for praying!

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A Different Kind of Wave

There has been so much speculation lately about the end times.  This happens every few decades; we all look at the signs we see in the Heavens, take assessment of the of confusion and uncertainty of life in our world, and we become frightened.  But Scripture is very clear.  It tells us that “no one knows the day or the hour“ (Matthew 24:36).

There are two other Scriptures which I consider when news reporters and side walk prophets begin to stir.

“I have searched among them for someone who would build a wall or stand in the breach before me to keep me from destroying the land; but I found none”  (Ezekiel 22:30).

This Scripture puts the ball in our court. It reminds us that we do have a part to play – an important part – in the movement of God in our world.  It reminds us that prayer can and DOES change things.  But we have to take this Scripture in the light of what God told Moses was needed in order to change the course of history.

“For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it” (Genesis 18:32).   This is the account of Abraham pleading with God so that He will not destroy a city which has become evil.  It seems that God wants more than lip service.  He wants an active  holiness of life.

I cannot help but wonder, if we, all God’s children, do our best to become holy, righteous, people of faith, of hope and love, surely at least ten of us ought to achieve it!

But then there’s one more Scripture account that has always fascinated me.  It’s the account of Noah and the great deluge.  I’m talking about the Biblical (Genesis 6 and 7) account and not the recent fairy-tale movie which assaulted our senses.  And I can’t help wondering if perhaps God might have another sort of flood in mind.

What if, despite the fact that the world wide economy is trembling before our eyes and even despite the fact that things look very bleak indeed, all of us together – the young, the old, the healthy, the sick, the saints in Heaven and the souls in Purgatory – become a formidable army of intercessors, an unstoppable force of nature, the Mystical Body of Christ, chosen for this time in the world’s history to begin a new wave – a tsunami of souls intent on covering the world in mercy of God?  The Year of Mercy, after all, is right around the corner.

So why don’t we focus on that?

In his famous essay, A Case for Christianity, C.S. Lewis came up with a sort of rule of life which sums up the way in which a Christian should approach life in the world. I just love it. I find too, that it makes a very creative way to examine my conscience and a good first step for working on becoming holy and righteous.

Here it is:

No Passengers – all are responsible

No parasites – replace what is taken

No work? No eating – all must contribute

All work with their own hands – all must labor

All work must produce good – adding to the good of all

No luxuries – live sparsely

No “sides” – do not exclude

No putting on airs – no nobility of birth

Insist on obedience & outward marks of respect
– respect authority

Cheerfulness – be happy

Rejoicing – rejoice always

Worry & anxiety are to be considered wrong – do not worry

Courtesy in all things – always defer

No busy bodies – curb curiosity

The reason for work is
so that we may having something to GIVE
– be a person FOR others

Keep your family code of manners – observe tradition, ceremony

Charity is giving more than we can spare
– give from your need, not from your excess

All of this must be accepted, not bits – do all of this

C.S. Lewis,  “A Case for Christianity”

A Meditation on Hope

 

Saint Ignatius of Loyola taught his priests to pray not only with the Scriptures but through the Scriptures. That is to say that he asked that when his followers came before the Lord in prayer, they begin a dialog rather than a recitation. To help them enter in to such a dialog, he instructed them to take a specific Scripture passage and to make themselves familiar with it. Then, as a meditation, he had them use their imagination to enter into that Scripture passage either as an observer of the story which was unfolding or as one of the persons in the passage. This same technique is taught today throughout the world and remains the foundation, the basis, for authentic contemplation. If you have experienced an Ignatian retreat then you are familiar with this process. If you have never experienced it, I encourage you to look into it. In any event, we are about to embark on a similar journey right now.

The following is just such a meditation using the Gospel account, Luke 2: 25 – 35, in which Simeon, an old prophet, first recognized the Christ Child in the arms of Mary. It is written so that one may enter into the Scripture as the person of Simeon.

So find a comfortable chair and allow yourself plenty of time. When you read each paragraph do so slowly and take time to close your eyes and see with your heart all that the Lord wants you to see. It is time to enter in.

Simeon and the Baby Jesus

The day is early, still in its infancy, but bright even so, and crisp. Winter still clings to the earth while the promise of springtime sweeps across the land. You breathe it in deeply and, as you take it in, you recall the sacred Scripture from the Song of Solomon:

“Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away;
for lo, the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away.”
(Song of Song 2: 10-13)

Such beautiful words to start your day. You smile to yourself and bless the Lord God. Just as you do every morning, you are making your way slowly to the Temple, drawn by another promise – the promise of the Messiah who, according to the sacred writings of the Torah, will be sent by the Lord God to save His people – someday…someday…

Making your way across the landscape you consider for a moment the years that have passed and the limbs which were once so strong and nimble, now slower and often stiff, especially so early in the day.

“For as long as I can remember, Lord God, I have tried to live a life pleasing to You. Blessed be Your Name!”

You shake your head and smile, admitting to yourself that you have not always been successful.

“Still, I have tried,” you say aloud to no one.

You look around to see if anyone is close but find that you are still alone and you are glad of it.

You remind yourself that you have kept the Commandments and have given to the poor. You have fasted and prayed. Not a day goes by when you do not remind of the Lord God of His promise to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, lest He forget that He promised consolation to His people. You stop for a moment to savor the thought of consolation, of rest. Year after year, you have prayed for it. Year after year, you have pondered it. Year after year, you wait.

“How long, O Lord? How long must we wait for Your promise of salvation?”

The Temple comes into view in the distance and the sun rises a little higher in the sky. The Temple! The dwelling place of the Lord God. Blessed be His name! Always when you see it your heart swells.

“I believe, Lord God,” you pray silently as you make your way through the sleepy streets of the city. “I believe. But help my unbelief!”

Still in your silent dialog, you stop at the entrance to the Temple to warm your hands by an outside fire, and to listen. You have become good at listening. The voice of the Lord God often comes to you through the conversation of others, through the sound of the sea or thunder, through the song of a beautiful voice or the breath of the Spirit which freshens the depths of your soul, or through the cry of a child.

Today, from the moment you awoke, you have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit hovering over you, moving within you. Your heart feels animated and attentive. But to what end? You close your eyes, trying to quiet your heart, and silently repeat the words of the great prophet, Samuel.

“Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.”

The city is awake now, at least partially. People shuffle by and the fire in front of you crackles in the wind which still carries the fragrance of the hills. You listen.

“Speak, Lord.”

From the sounds of everyday life, the tiny voice of an infant gently drifts from the Temple. Not an unusual sound. Many couples come to the Temple to present their sons to the Lord. Yet, the sound of this tiny voice stirs your spirit within you. Something is different.

Opening your eyes, you rub your hands together one more time over the fire before turning towards the entrance to the Temple. Inside, your eyes blink into the dim light until you are able to focus on the gentle light of the candles.

You are at home, here, in this Temple. It is here that you feel peace. How often you have wished that you could dwell within these walls forever. You have believed – no, you have known beyond a shadow of a doubt – that the Lord God dwells here. The look of it, the sound of it, even the smell of it comforts you. Many days and many nights you have spent here praying, searching the Scripture, waiting…

The voice of the infant again rises gently from somewhere within and you remember what has drawn you. Your eyes search until you determine that the sound is coming from the direction of a couple who are with the Rabbi near the center of the Temple. You hear his tiny voice again.

“What is this,” you ask yourself. “What is it, Lord God?”

You wait for an answer but are met only with silence.

“What is this anticipation that fills my heart?”

Quietly, you move toward the couple, asking the Spirit of God to lead you. The movements of the Spirit have become familiar to you. Many times you have followed His promptings. Still you are uncertain this time. What could all this mean? You stop just behind the couple and silently peer over their shoulders.

When your eyes rest on the child, you draw your breath aloud. The woman turns to you and smiles, and, though your eyes meet briefly, you are drawn back to the object of your wonder.

“This child!” For some reason your mind cannot take it in.

This child who has already begun to settle into a deep sleep against his mother’s heart radiates light. When you look at him you notice that your heart settles down and is silent. You feel inexplicably at peace…but there is something more stirring within. At last you recognize it – hope! The rush of it causes you to step back a bit.

“Hope?” You consider this silently. “This child? This tiny, sleeping child?”

Your eyes close.

“Is this He whom my heart seeks?” You cannot help but repeat these words from the Song of Solomon. You recall that another verse of this Scripture came to you earlier as you made your way to the Temple.

“Is this tiny child the One? The Messiah? The Redeemer whom You have promised, Lord God? How can this be?”

Confusion pulls at the peacefulness your heart is feeling. This does not match your expectations. A great king, or a mighty warrior, even a prince who will vindicate his people would do, but never, never did you imagine a child.

“He is helpless! Completely vulnerable. Surely,” you tell yourself, “I am mistaken.”

Your eyes meet the mother’s eyes again, asking the silent question. And in answer, she places the child in your arms.

Closing your eyes again you embrace Him, holding Him to your heart. It seems to you as if all of eternity lives within this Child and all of it now floods into your heart. Oh, the weight of it! In this instant, everything inside of you changes. No. Everything in the world changes.

“How can this be,” you whisper again.

In this moment, you know that you have encountered the single most essential and intimate embrace of your entire life. Unaware of everything around you, you remain in this position a long time, allowing all that is the “Child” to fill you. You feel filled with youth, with peace, with joy. You are becoming…..Him! Again you draw your breath in surprise.

“How can this be?”

You feel as if your heart is about to burst, and your soul too as understanding washes over your thoughts. Your intellect feels strangely freed from something which has held it to the earth and now it is soaring. You are strengthened yet humbled all at the same time.

“A light to the nations,” you recall the Scriptures. That is what the Lord God promised Israel. In this light you can see. The time of winter is indeed passed. He must increase within you and the self you have known must diminish now. You know you must allow it.

You have formed a pattern of obedience to the Sprit throughout your life, and so slowly you give your permission.

“All is Yours now, Lord God. Take, Lord God, receive. Take my memory, take my understanding. Take my will.”

You allow your heart to open and to receive more.

“I – I feel as if I am being reborn,” you say silently to God, waiting for His approval.

You feel your soul, your spirit, pushing through the cocoon which had seemed impenetrable and a tear trickles slowly down the worn skin of your face, cooling it as it makes its way to the tangle of your beard. You remember the Scripture in which Samuel anoints David with the oil that runs down his face.

Yes, that is what you feel – an anointing.

Opening your eyes once again, you smile at the young mother and father, who seem not surprised at all at your reaction. They nod their understanding.

“So this is who I am to become, Lord God?” Your interior dialog continues. “Small? Helpless? Vulnerable? A child?”

Your head nods in acceptance. “Love’s victory over sin, over evil, is in the Child.”

“Of course, of course,” you begin to chuckle. “How could it be any other way?”

Eyeing those around you, you continue your interior prayer.

“I will allow myself to become little, so that You, Lord God, shall be tall for me! Blessed be Your Name! I allow myself to be vulnerable so that You will defend me! I will no longer fear my weaknesses. You will be my strength! And as a child rests on his mother’s heart, so shall I rest! I shall rest in You, Lord God!”

Satisfied with your offering you lift your head and pray aloud for all in the Temple to hear.

“Now, Oh Lord You may let your servant go in peace according to Your Word! For my eyes have seen the salvation which You have prepared for us here in the sight of Your people!”

Your eyes fall upon the Child, still in your arms, and you nod towards him.

“He is a light, Lord God! He is Your light. He is Your salvation. Isaiah has said that a child shall lead us! A child shall lead!”

“This child,” you say, motioning to everyone in the Temple, as you smile and hold Him up for all to see, “This child is destined for the rise and fall of many!”

Then you become aware of an ache in your heart, deep within. You drop your eyes as you hear the Spirit speak. Then, raising your head, you look at the young mother tenderly and continue,

“He will be a sign against which many will speak.”

It seems she knows this.

“And, my dear, a sword will pierce your heart too.”

Your eyes meet in a steady gaze.

“Because of this you will see the heart thoughts of many…”

You see that you are telling her nothing new. Your words do not upset her or cause alarm. Still her eyes widen in amazement, as do the eyes of her husband. She, who already chose, has looked into the hearts of many, and knows what lies ahead.

“Yes,” you nod to them and your eyes tell them silently, “Now, I know too!”

Gently you place the child back in the arms of his waiting mother. You turn to leave the temple area slowly. You feel as Moses must have felt, your face alight with life. Perhaps you should cover your face as Moses did. Surely it is glowing! Everything looks different to you now. Everything, absolutely everything, has taken on new meaning. You have been reborn. And with you, all the world!

The Enemy’s Sword

Dealing With Serious Sin

There may come a point in the soul’s journey to perfection, its union with God, when the most painful thing it experiences is having fallen into sin – especially a sin which has consequences that seem irreconcilable. Choices such as abortion or sexual sin like adultery or pornography, can cause such assumptions. And in today’s world, pummeled with unbridled consumerism, greed can cause choices that involve money, the disclosure of which would harm one’s family and reputation. These can create in the soul such a separation from God and from the source of grace that the soul feels there is truly no way back. A line has been crossed from which there seems to be no return. Or so the devil would like the soul to believe. The pain caused by this separation of the soul from God is excruciating and Satan is delighted.

The soul in this state experiences the “unredeemed pain” of extreme separation from God and grace. It has come to an important cross-road. The soul can choose to stay in that place of separation and pain, in defiance or denial, but actually afraid to do anything to alleviate it. In fact, the soul can choose to revel in its circumstance. After all, we are all capable of coming up with hundreds of good reasons for having fallen into sin – even serious sin.

One of the most dangerous excuses to which we can cling is to claim that we are powerless over these temptations because of our human nature or the human “condition.” This is perilous because the soul begins to identify with the sin itself losing sight of its true identity – a son or daughter of God. The soul may begin to say, in error, “I am a thief,” or “I am an adulterer.” As I have said on previous occasions, if you do not know who you are, Satan, whom Jesus calls “the father of lies” (John 8:44), will be happy to tell you.

Serious sin is often committed at the trickery of Satan who suggests that if the soul does not choose this sin, some terrible pain will befall it. Fear is Satan’s most effective weapon. If the sin is abortion, the soul will be led to think, “If I don’t get that abortion, how ashamed my parents will be!” Or, “He will certainly leave me if he finds out I am pregnant.” Or, “I cannot continue with my plans, my education, my hopes and dreams with a baby!”

If it is adultery or other sexual sin, Satan, who desires to keep you from breaking loose of it, may suggest, “Your wife has never understood you or given you the affection you have needed.” Or “After all, you are only human. You need this love and affection in your life.” Or “You are not hurting anyone.” Satan can even quote Scripture. He did so to try to tempt Jesus in the desert (Matthew 4). So he may quote to you, “It is not good for man to be alone”(Genesis 2:18).

If the sin is one that involves money, the soul might be led to believe that there was simply no other way to get that item or that money which is desperately needed. The enemy is very good at what he does. “If you tell anyone,” he always adds, “your life will be ruined.”

Once the soul succumbs to the temptation, Satan soon re-approaches the soul with his ‘hook.’ “You don’t really think that God is going to forgive you after THIS, do you?” This is the real reason Satan uses temptation; he is after separation of the soul from God.

The more the soul tries to justify itself after such a separation from God, the more angry it can become at God. The separation can grow bigger and Satan is happier and more secure in the knowledge that he almost has the door to the cage shut and locked now. He is building a stronghold on the soul.

A soul which prays for humility (yes, humility) at this point, will come to realize that the only thing it has to offer to God (that is truly its own) is this sin and all the surrounding, sickening pain that goes with it.

It takes a very deep gift of humility for the soul to come before the Lord empty handed except for its own sin. But it is not impossible. If the soul can come this far, a miracle is very close at hand!

First, let’s take a look at a bit of biblical theology behind the understanding of the event which is taking place.

In the Old Testament, long before he became king, the young David came up against Goliath, an invincible foe. No one had EVER conquered Goliath, though many tried. He was an impermeable, unbeatable, impassible foe. So how did this young shepherd triumph over such an adversary? First he used a small smooth stone to stun him and knock him down. The stone, small and seemingly inconsequential, represents humility. In Scripture, it is always humility that surprises and stuns – literally stuns and immobilizes – the enemy.

This is the first attack which the soul must launch on its captor. The soul, therefore, must humbly present itself to God and ask for the unthinkable: forgiveness, believing that forgiveness will be given. This may sound easy. It is not.

Back to young David: With the enemy immobilized, David, who had no sword of his own, lifted the huge, weighty sword of his enemy, Goliath, and with the enemy’s own sword, cut off his head!

Later on in the Old Testament we read of a very similar situation in the book of Judith. The entire Israelite nation was on the verge of complete destruction having been trapped by the clever tactics of yet another undefeated foe – Holofernes, a great general in the army of Nebuchadnezzar. In an attempt to take over the city, Holofernes stationed guards around their water supply, cutting off their means of sustaining life and holding them captive in the mountains. Soon the people were dying of starvation and thirst. Judith, a prayerful widow, inspired by God, went right in to the enemy’s camp, pretending to seek asylum. Scripture tells us that her beauty (this represents humility) stunned Holofernes and he could not think clearly around her. Waiting until he was asleep from too much wine, she took his own sword and cut off his head!

To the soul, the sword of the enemy is the sin itself. Great. Fine. But how does the soul use sin to defeat its enemy? Keeping these Scriptures in mind, let’s take a look at the process.

Once the soul turns its eyes humbly toward God, admitting its defeat and acknowledging that, without God’s help, it is completely unable to free itself, the enemy becomes immediately immobilized. After all these centuries of using sin to cause man to run away from God, just as Adam did, the enemy is not prepared for a soul to stand up and do otherwise. But the enemy is not yet defeated. It is when the soul offers the pain caused by its own sin to the Lord, that something miraculous happens. The enemy’s apparent victory has been overturned.

“What kind of an offering is this” you may ask. “Isn’t an offering to the Lord supposed to be something beautiful, and costly? Shouldn’t we offer Him our good acts? Why would anyone offer their sin to God?”

Yet, this is exactly the action that constitutes one of the most potent and most powerful offerings a soul can make. With human eyes we can see no value in it. This sin appears to us to be ugly, painful and hurtful…devoid of good, devoid of God.

“God,” you may argue, “is pure and holy, and blameless! No one should come before Him with nothing to offer but sin!”

Though there is no good in sin, there is a tremendous good which comes when the soul offers to God the pain, the shame and the hurt which it suffers as a result of the sin, because at this point in the life of the soul, that is ALL the soul truly has to offer. In fact God has been waiting for it, just as the Father of prodigal son waited for his return. Such an offering places the soul securely before the Throne of Mercy, making it now more attached to God than before the sin took place. But it does more. Much more.

When a soul defeats the enemy in this way, it actually wins grace for other souls in the same situation. Because of this, Satan not only loses the soul which he thought he had completely surrounded and imprisoned, but he is now losing other souls who have been struggling with the same sin. Like Judith, the soul walks right in to the enemy’s camp and frees other souls who had been held captive. Like David, one person’s victory brings victory to many.

This is because the soul has offered its own pain and its own spiritual death to God for the spiritual life of others. The soul has experienced death, but by its offering, has been resurrected – brought back to life! When the enemy realizes that the soul now can and will do this every time it falls, he will use that sin against the soul less and less and less. Why? Because it defeats his purpose. His own sword is being used against him.

The soul who has experienced this has become a powerful prayer warrior. It has changed its unredeemed pain into redeemed pain, making of it an unanticipated weapon that always – yes, always – defeats the enemy and scatters his accomplices. Redeemed pain, that is pain that is offered for others, mingles with the Blood of the Lamb for the salvation of the world. With this mighty act of the will (remember, that mighty act is humility), the soul now has the power and the weapon it needs to assist itself and other souls – particularly those in the same battle. No longer a victim, the soul is one with the Victorious Lamb of God. Not only has the soul been freed from the enemy’s camp, it has forged a way for others to escape as well. It has taken its own weakness and used it to build up the Kingdom of God. At this, the enemy scatters.

“They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony,
for they loved not their lives even unto death!”
(Revelation 12:11)

The terrible pain of sin becomes an acceptable and fragrant offering to the Lord and now adds to the weight of the glory of God the Father. Tragedy has been turned into triumph, the death of sin has been defeated and new life has begun. The darkness of deceit has been turned into the marvelous light of truth – and Love. Now the soul holds in its hands the Sword of the Spirit, which is Truth. And the truth always brings freedom. Always. The father of lies flees from it.

Truth: my God loves me! Truth: nothing can separate me from His love! Truth: my sins are forgiven! I can rise. I can pick up my mat, and walk! Truth: with God, I can defeat the enemy and be restored to life!

Though this battle takes place entirely within the spiritual realm, unseen by human eye and hidden to all but God, the soul is not alone. God is present. It is He who wipes away the tears. It is He who picks up this cross, and carries it with the soul from this point on. He uses all things – ALL THINGS – for the good of those who love Him.

In today’s Scriptures, Saint Paul describes his own struggles with an issue with which he struggled during his lifetime. Most theologians agree that this refers to a recurring temptation to sin. He tells us that the Lord allowed him to struggle with this sin so that it would keep him from pride which might make him forget the power of God within him. We must learn to do the same and, in time, learn to thank God for the lesson. Then, we can say with Saint Paul, “When I am weak, then I am strong.”

“And to keep me from being too elated
by the abundance of revelations,
a thorn was given me in the flesh,
a messenger of Satan, to harass me,
to keep me from being too elated.
Three times I besought the Lord about this,
that it should leave me;
but He said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses
… for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
(2 Corinthians 12; 7 – 10)

Choosing Dust

 The Grace of Deferral

In Tuesday’s first Scripture reading (June 23rd), we hear of a most particular time during the journey of Abram (for he had not yet been given his new name by the Lord). He and his tribes had done well with the Lord. His clan had grown rich and prosperous. Their flocks were fat and numerous. They had many possessions. So many, in fact, that it became clear to Abram that a change was necessary.

Lot, his nephew, had accompanied Abram on his journey. He experienced the same good fortune as his uncle and now also had many flocks, and many possessions. But those who were tending Lot’s flocks were beginning to argue with the shepherds who tended the flocks of Abram for, off to the east, the pastures were green and wet and fertile. To the west, the fields were dry and dusty. Lot’s herdsmen wanted the fresher, greener pastures for their flocks.

“So Abram said to Lot:
“Let there be no strife between you and me,
or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are kinsmen.
Is not the whole land at your disposal?
Please separate from me.
If you prefer the left, I will go to the right;
if you prefer the right, I will go to the left.”

Lot looked about and saw how well watered
the whole Jordan Plain was as far as Zoar,
like the Lord’s own garden, or like Egypt.
Lot, therefore, chose for himself the whole Jordan Plain
and set out eastward.
Thus they separated from each other.”
(Genesis 13: 5-7)

Now Abram was seventy five years old when the Lord first called to him and sent him out, away from all that familiar to him, to become a “father of nations.” As old, many thought, as dust. Dust is formed when the earth gets so hot and so dry that nothing can ever again grow there. Dust can support no life at all. This was a good description of Abram at that time of his calling. Too old for children, for his wife, Sarai, had grown old with him; too old to do much more than settle down and live out his life as a good and righteous elder, a source of wisdom and comfort to his clansmen.

But now here he was leading his family and flocks through a land he never knew. He had followed the voice which no one else could hear and had moved away from the prosperous, familiar lands of his father-in-law, bringing his household out into the desert as the Lord instructed. So far, God had blessed all his efforts.

And now, when all was going very well, he found himself faced with a most important decision – one which would alter his circumstances significantly and which could have a substantial impact on his well-being and that of his family. Yet, with something so important as this, Abram deferred to the wishes of his nephew, allowing him to choose the greener pastures for himself.

What in the world was Abram thinking? Was he avoiding confrontation? Was he too old and tired to care? The Lord had promised him prosperity. Shouldn’t he sort of help God along by choosing the best for himself? How was he supposed to prosper now that he had consigned his flocks to dry, dusty feeding grounds? Perhaps Abram was getting a bit senile.

The answers to these questions lie in the differences between the journeys on which Abraham and Lot had embarked. Lot’s journey was for himself, for prosperity for his clan, food for his flocks, for security, and for the comfort of his family. It was a noble and worthy pursuit. He accepted full responsibility for the care, the feeding and the future of all with which he had been blessed. Who could fault him for that? To do otherwise would seem very foolish in the eyes of men. Certainly his family was pleased with his wise and sensible decision. Certainly they felt sorry for poor Sarai, whose foolish, old husband had taken her away from family and friends and was now choosing almost certain failure for them.

But Lot relied only on himself – his own eyes, his own understanding, his own knowledge of the world around him.  For Lot, the choice was simple: the best that the eye can see and that the mind can conceive, for his family, his finances, his future. If his uncle was foolish enough to let him choose the best for himself, he would, indeed, choose the best for himself!

Abram’s journey, on the other hand, was for the Lord, and with the Lord, and to the Lord. He had already made the difficult choice of turning away from all that was practical, comfortable and predictable, and had embarked on a journey to God-knows-where. Scripture tells us that he had made the journey in stages, sort of one foot in front of the other, settling for a time in one place and then moving on, step by step, always listening for the voice of the Lord, always ready to alter the course, still heading for God-knows-where.

Abram reasoned that God had been very generous to him and had been faithful to His promises. Abram had only to trust, and follow the instructions of the Lord. And so he did.  He believed with all his heart that God would remain faithful to him and so chose to remain faithful to God.

Why should he choose anything for himself now? He had already left “the best” behind when he first began this journey. He was used to doing that. He no longer trusted his own eyes nor relied upon the judgements of his own thoughts. He was never a shrewd business man or a clever sheep herder. It was God who ordered his life now and Abram was glad to have him do it.

Abram could see that having the best grazing land was important to Lot and Abram loved him. Should he be less generous with Lot than God had been with him? He had come to know that the best cannot always be seen with the eyes of the body. He would take for himself whatever was left. All that mattered to him now was to remain close to the Lord, the one God, the Almighty.

And so Abram chose dust, just as God had done in choosing him.

He chose less for himself and gave the best away. He chose the impractical, the unpredictable, the uncertain, the doubtful.

And so it was that Abram headed his flocks and family toward the west, toward what appeared to be dry, lifeless ground.  Though he did not yet know it, he was headed toward the land of Canaan.  And Lot?

“Lot, therefore, chose for himself the whole Jordan Plain
and set out eastward.
Thus they separated from each other.
Abram stayed in the land of Canaan,
while Lot settled among the cities of the Plain,
pitching his tents near Sodom…

After Lot had left, the Lord said to Abram,

“Look about you, and from where you are,
gaze to the north and south, east and west;
all the land that you see I will give to you
and your descendants forever.

I will make your descendants like the dust of the earth;
if anyone could count the dust of the earth,
your descendants too might be counted.
Set forth and walk about in the land,
through its length and breadth,
for to you I will give it.”
Abram moved his tents and went on to settle
near the terebinth of Mamre, which is at Hebron.
There he built an altar to the Lord.”
(Genesis 13: 8-18)